Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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