I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize