it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize