It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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