i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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