I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize