there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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