lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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