We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
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Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
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I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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