You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
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He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
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We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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