I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
His nipple licking is glorious
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