I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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