didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
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