i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
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i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
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Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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