Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
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Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Mom said you looked used
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
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You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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