also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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