clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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