Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize