Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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