Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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