Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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