Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
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I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
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you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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