hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you would pick up someone in the library
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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