they need to just BURY HIM!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize