I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
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Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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