glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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