Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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