Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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