i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize