you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
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I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
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she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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