I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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