Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize