Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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