i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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