Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize