dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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