thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
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Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
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I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize