got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize