Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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