What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
two words...techno handjob
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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