I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize