I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I could have mohawked her pubes.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
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Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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