i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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