that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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