false alarm. still invincible.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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