I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize