I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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