8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize