I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize