whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
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He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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