He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize