It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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