I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize